When I was sitting in my doctor's office the day he told me I might have cancer, I realized how short life really is. I know you've heard that before but when a 22yr old hears the possibility (or the probability according to my doctor and specialist) of her body being taken over, a lot of things gain new perspectives. I spent last Christmas so much differently than previous years because I spent it knowing it could very well have been my last. I know we are all trying to live each day as if it is our last but until death is actually staring at us through doctor's words, we don't really understand what life really means to us.
I went in for the major tests last week and got the report back from them. I am clean! They didn't find 1 spec of cancer anywhere! Praise God!!! I will still have to go for minor tests to try to figure out what was going on, but those don't really matter knowing that it is not cancer. Those will be a breeze.
Now that all the drama is over, I am concerned for my life. I am concerned I will forget everything I have learned about truly living. I am worried I will stop living with the notion that I might die very soon. Although my tests came back clean of cancer, I could still die by some car accident or a freak accident at work or anything! The point is we never know when our time will be so we need to live without regrets, we need to live as though it is our last day. I have learned so much about living as if it is my last days through this whole cancer ordeal, I never want to forget that or go back to living as though I am immortal. I was experiencing life in a totally new way and it has been amazing. I was living a different kind of testimony of God's amazing love and grace and I never want to go back to just being humdrum about sharing His awesomeness to my friends and family. That is my prayer now, that God may never let me forget what I have learned about Him and life during this time. I pray He will continue to remind me to live as if it is my last days.
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